My brain is preoccupied with the idea of existence, and the only thing that brings me peace is transforming that existence into something physical, visual - an expression of that existence?  I need to prove that i am here. I am here, I am thinking, I am feeling, I care, I love, I empathize, I am seeing this world, chewing it in my brain and spitting it out - more colorful, more random, more confused.. Yes, I am small. Yes, everyone I love is just a useless little fragile human who will be forgotten in a blink of time's eye.. BUT, I am here, I feel, and I see the world. 

I love knowledge; I find literature, history and science fascinating. But it has always been a struggle for me to concentrate on JUST the history, JUST the science. In school my brain would wander from my homework (against my will) connecting the history the science, to MY existence. In college, majoring in biology, I found it a struggle to be purely scientific - it felt incredibly dry; Impersonal... and hence, unimportant. 

You can't get anything real done with that mindset. The only thing you can do is just make a bunch of art and hope that somehow someone will see it and say 'i think I kinda get what you mean'.


[ the photo is me working on an encaustic outside, taken last month - I don't have very good ventilation in my studio, and instead work on encaustics on my porch ]